What To Say To Stop It
Hi Amy! I just listened to your expert series via Amy McReady’s website. I have two boys who are 8 and 10. Occasionally, I hear them say, “Let’s lay on top of each other (fully clothed).”
I am worried they are rubbing their privates on each other. What do you say? Is it the same response as to the preschool “penis party?” It’s not okay or safe to play games with privates?
Thanks! -Jen Mama of Boys
Rubbing Privates is Not Safe or Okay – Unless You are in Private and Alone
Howdy Jen Mama of Boys!
I’d ignore their behavior unless it is clear there is rubbing of privates going on, so you may need to let them have at it and take notes.
If they are rubbing privates, then I’d say, “Dudes, it’s fine to wrestle and all that but it’s not okay to rub your privates on each other. People feel uncomfortable when this happens and the only person who can mess with your junk is YOU.”
I would add that “the rule in your family is that it’s perfectly fine for them to touch their own penises, when they are in private and alone.” And that they should tell you if someone – a friend, older kid, cousin, grown up – ever touches them there. Assure them that they will not be in trouble and you will get that person help if they need it.
They should also tell you if they have ever touched another person’s private parts.
Boys NEED to be physical with each other – it’s good for their brains and bods. But rubbing privates together is not safe or okay.
You’ve got this!
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