Do you want to know about your parent’s sex life? I didn’t think so!
Your kids don’t really want to know about your current sex life either. Which is good news – this means you can keep your sex life to yourself. And you have one less harrowing topic to dive into. It’s fine to be brief and then redirect them to another topic.
What to say if they ask about your sex life
If they ask if you have sex, you can simply say “Yes! I have sex, it’s a normal, fun and healthy part of being in a grown-up romantic relationship.” This all you need to say, especially if they are under the age of 9 or so. If they press for details, tell them that a person’s sex life is a private thing and you aren’t comfortable discussing yours with them.
If they ask about a particular sexual activity you can say, “Great question. There are all kinds of things people do that are sexual and this is part of a full sex life. What do you know about that (thing you just asked me about)?” You will notice I don’t actually answer the question. This is because they really don’t want to hear that you love a good round of oral sex.
If a teen is asking the questions about your sex life
Finally if your child is asking specific questions about your sex life and they are in the teen years or very close to them, you can say, “Thanks for asking me about this! You seem to have it on your mind. Tell me what you think about it.” Often they are really asking, “Is this okay for me to do or thing about or know about.” And asking you if you’ve done it, will help them sort it out for themselves.
Obviously, you are welcome to fill your kids in on your sex life. Just remember to keep in mind how you would have felt if your mom or dad told you all about their multiple orgasms and marathon sex sessions. Assuming you are lucky enough to experiencing one or both of these things.
Ultimately, this is a personal values thing – do what feels right to you.