I think most people have this idea it’s somehow our “right” to become a parent or it’s our duty. Some even have a very strong desire to be a parent which, in their minds, becomes a “need.” It’s not a need, this being a parent thing, it’s a want.
I don’t think anyone thinks about how the verb is significantly more important than the adjective. Once our children arrived we got to describe ourselves as “a parent “- adjetiving – which means nothing. NOTHING other than social capital and yet another role we can try to stuff ourselves into.
Then reality hits and we find ourselves verbing with little or no instructions, help or support. Most of think we can do this thing without studying up. We wing it and cross our fingers. And toss cash at the therapy fund when we’ve got extra.
I wanted to be a parent. I am a parent. But really, I never really wanted to parent, because if I fully knew what it entailed, I don’t know if I would have signed up for it.
The word parent is a verb. An action word. An activity. Something one actually does. Like reading or swimming or flying. Which, I’d like to point out, are all things we took classes to learn how to do. Just, as the kids say, sayin’.