Birds & Bees & Kids

How To Talk To Your Kids About Sex

  • Start Here
    • Everything from A to Z
    • Neurodivergent Kids
    • Porn Talk Kit
    • Ages & Stages Kit
  • Work With Me
    • Book Me
    • Start Here
    • Consultation
    • Training for Professionals
  • Resources
    • Sex Talks with Tweens Book
    • Best Books About Sex For Kids
    • Websites, Books & More
    • Blog
    • Podcast
    • Videos
  • About
    • Media
  • Contact
  • Talk Tips

May 21, 2015 by Amy Lang, The Queen of the Birds & Bees

A 14-Year-Old Girl Takes on Rape Culture, School Dress Codes and Rocks It!

Spring is here and young women’s thoughts turn to rape culture. This is from a young woman who decided she’d had it with the school system policing her clothing choices. I’m posting this with her consent and without her name, for obvious reasons.

Here are her thoughts:

UnacceptableATTENTION EVERYONE. THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT. That’s right I’m posting about this too, and you should as well. The more people that are informed the closer to a better, safer future we will get. We have unknowingly created a horrible thing called rape culture.

Rape culture is when young people are taught that girls’ bodies are sexual OBJECTS that need to be hidden and then girls are punished when they don’t hide them, as well as the ludicrous idea that if you get raped it’s “your fault” and you were “asking for it.” This mindset is subconsciously forced upon us at a young age starting with strict sexist dress codes because girls bodies are “too sexual” and “distracting to boys.”

Also, we make it harder for them to learn, but it’s perfectly okay to pull a girl out of class or have her miss a whole period to go to the principal’s office because her bra strap was showing. Well, let me explain something to you if you’re an adult who supports this: It’s. Just. A. Freaking. Strap.

And guess what, it’s nearly summer, and it’s getting hot, bra straps are gonna show no matter what you do, so you might as well join us if you can’t fight us and start to teach that rape is never okay, no matter what.

Consent is the only way a girl/boy could be “asking for it” but only if it’s by her/his own free will.

It’s not consent if:
1. They were threatened into giving it.
2. They were pressured into giving it.
3. The advancer is someone with authority over them.
4. If they’re intoxicated and unable to think clearly.
5. If they’re passed out it’s CERTAINLY NOT OK. Silence is not consent.
6. They can change their mind during any part of the activity, and once they stop willfully wanting to continue it’s no longer consensual and becomes rape.

If you want to support our cause to stop rape culture in our community then wear whatever you want to school tomorrow to protest!

(Disclaimer: I know men can be raped too and this isn’t an attack on men it’s an attack on rape culture and our schools’ sexist dress code policies).

I love you all and I hope you’ll help us stop this idea that rape is okay at the root: our public school system. 😘😄👗

Spread The Word!

  • Click to email a link to a friend (Opens in new window) Email
  • Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window) Facebook
  • Click to share on LinkedIn (Opens in new window) LinkedIn

Filed Under: Parenting Tips Tagged With: Boundaries

Amy Lang, Sex Education Expert

"I'm on a mission to help every kid grow up to be a whole and healthy adult! I do this by helping parents just like you learn how to have open and effective talks about sexuality, love and relationships. "

-Amy Lang, MA

Stay In The Loop

Get tips and info you can use right away from the Birds & Bees & Kids newsletter.

LEARN

Sex Education Classes & Workshops
Parent Quickie Consultation

RESOURCES

Sex Education Online Resources
Sex Education Books for Parents & Kids

For Professionals

Sexual Abuse Prevention Training

Let’s Hook Up!

Facebook - Birds & Bees & Kids    YouTube - Birds & Bees & Kids    Instagram - Birds & Bees & Kids
National Prenting Education Network Member 2024

  • Child Sexual Abuse Prevention Training
  • Contact Amy
  • Legal & Privacy Stuff

Copyright ©2022 · Birds and Bees and Kids, All rights Reserved.