My Daughter Accidentally “sexted” Grandma! What to do?
Hey Amy!
Last night my five-and-a-half-year-old and her friend of the same age were pretend texting and ended up sorta “sexting” her grandmother using the words “fuck” and “penis”. It looked like they were trying to ask Siri to answer a question. My daughter knows what a penis is as she has a younger brother.
Fuck is said in the house sometimes, just as a swear word. Any advice on where to start to explain all of this? I will not be letting her pretend-text unsupervised any more.
~ Mom of Accidental Sexter
Take this as an opportunity to talk about sexuality in a healthy way (and define a certain term)
Hey Mom!
Accidentally sexting grandma “fuck” and “penis” sounds like a story that will be told around the dinner table for years to come. The girls were probably asking Siri about these words because it was funny and naughty. Or it may be that one of the kids may have put the words “fuck” and “penis” together – in the right way.
If this is the case, it’s concerning, since most five-year-olds don’t know those words can be in the same sentence. You can gently ask your daughter whose idea it was to ask Siri about these words. Let her know that she won’t be in trouble and her friend won’t be either – kids are curious about this stuff. You need to know because you need to make sure she’s safe.
She will probably say “I don’t know” as will the other kid. This tends to indicate that they were just fooling around…or that they think they will get in big trouble if they fess up. Pay attention to how she responds and trust your gut.
I would get a copy of It’s NOT The Stork and start reading it with her (and her brother). You want to introduce the idea of sex and baby making in a healthy way so that you are ahead of her curiosity. And so that you can tell her what “fuck” really means – it’s an ugly way of saying “sex” – and isn’t a kid word.
I had to have this very conversation with Milo when he was about six. He saw it in graffiti and even though he’d heard the word nearly every day of his life (potty-mouth central over here) he’d never asked what it meant.
If you haven’t already, you may want to let the other kid’s parents know what happened. This can be a can of worms, of course, but I tend to ask myself if I would want to know if “whatever” happened to my kid. If the answer is yes, then I tell.
Fun times.
You’ve got this!
~ Amy
