What is normal sexual development for kids in elementary school? In other words, is the behavior that you’re seeing typical or concerning?
At this age, kids are becoming aware of sexuality. As with all other curiosities they’ve had, kids learn by asking questions and testing theories. Therefore, they’re little scientists looking for answers about how babies are made, why boys and girls are different from each other, and why people kiss. Further they’re also realizing that physical touch on and around their privates feels good. Especially at the younger end of the range, kids don’t have much shame associated with these questions and behaviors. This is all completely normal.
From ages 6 to 12, before puberty starts, it’s completely normal for children to have more and more curiosity and questions about sexuality. However, their common behaviors, even kissing or role-playing games, are very much experimental and they usually have a “scientific experiments” mentality about these common behaviors.
Common behaviors in pre-pubescent children (6 – 12 years):
- Have questions about relationships and sexual behavior
- Have questions about menstruation and pregnancy
- Experiment with same-age children, often during games
- Experiment with kissing, touching privates, exhibitionism, and role-playing
- Masturbate in private
Uncommon behaviors:
- Taking part in adult-like sexual interactions
- Discussing specific sexual acts
- Masturbating in public
Most elementary school kids exhibit very typical and normal sexual development. However, during these years, behavior and questions can be alarming to some parents as their kids start showing curiosity about these topics. So it’s important to know what’s typical and what’s not.
*Adapted from Wurtele, S.K. and Miller-Perrin, C.L. (1992) Preventing sexual abuse. Lincoln, NE: University of Nebraska Press.
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