By Susan Berland
Some of us who are parents of LGBTQ kids experience a child who changes their mind about their sexual orientation or gender identity. How do we know what is real and what is not?
For many kids, figuring out who they are is a journey. Along the way, they may identify differently. For example, a child may come out as bisexual and some time later, maybe even years later, come out as gay or lesbian. Sometimes, the reverse happens. A child comes out as lesbian and finds themselves falling for a boy and realizes they are actually bisexual.
Sometimes a child comes out as lesbian or gay and later realizes they are transgender. Once they figure that out, their sexual orientation may change. Or a child comes out as nonbinary and later realizes they are transgender.
If this is so fluid, how do we know what to believe? Believe them in any given moment. They are sharing their truth for that time in their life. If it changes, believe them again.
It can feel like we’re on a roller coaster. I understand. If it feels like that for us, imagine how it feels for them!
Our children share their truth with us because they trust us. They trust us to love them as they are. And that is all we have to do. Love them as they are, right now, in the moment. And in the next and the next.
Parenting Coach Susan Berland is fiercely committed to guiding parents of LGBTQ youth back to a loving, accepting relationship when they are struggling to accept their child as gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender or queer or just struggling with their reaction to their child’s coming out. Find out more at http://susanhopeberland.com
