Sometimes kids need some help setting boundaries with their friends. Here’s some help on how to guide them through that.
Beginner
If a friend tries to touch you in a way that feels uncomfortable, like a pinch or a poke or touching your privates, you can say, “No! Don’t! Stop! I don’t like that. My body is private!” Even if it’s someone you know and love, it’s okay to tell them “no” in a loud and strong voice. Let’s pretend and you can practice saying this.
Also, it’s not okay for you to touch anyone else’s privates for the same reasons.
Sometimes, kids will want to play games with privates, and the rule in our family is that this is not okay and not safe. Private parts are very sensitive. Just like you wouldn’t want someone to stick their finger in your eye, you don’t want them to touch your privates.
You should tell me if this ever happens to you, and if it does, you won’t get in trouble.
The only person who can touch your privates is you or me or the doctor if you need help.
Intermediate
Sometimes kids will explore and look at other kids’ bodies and privates. This is a common thing because they are curious about bodies and even sex. Kids can get hurt when they play this way, so the rule in our family is, privates are private and no touching or looking allowed.
It’s totally normal for kids your age to want to play games and experiment with their friends. But it’s not a safe way to play, because kids can get hurt because their bodies aren’t ready for this kind of thing. Sex and sexual touching are for later in life.
You can look at a book or ask me if you have questions. This is a safe way to learn about private parts. Let me know if you’ve played this way with so we can talk about it and make sure you’re safe.
You won’t get in trouble.
Advanced
It’s totally normal for kids your age to play kissing games and experiment with their friends. But it’s not a safe way to play, because kids can get hurt because their bodies aren’t ready for this kind of activity. Sex and sexual touching are for later in life.
Some parents will totally freak out if they find out about this kind of experimenting. Not me—I get it—but it does need to stop. I don’t want you or your friends to get hurt – physically or emotionally.
It’s very important that you never force anyone to play these games, threaten them or do other things to try to make them play. And you should never be forced to play these games either. This is a big problem and you need to let me know if it happens. Will you do that?
Sometimes other kids and even some adults try to touch kids’ private areas to make themselves feel good. The adults who do this know it’s wrong, but the kids may not know. To stay safe, remember that there are tricky people who try to get kids to do things that are against their families’ rules.
Please tell me or another safe adult if someone tries to touch you this way. You won’t be in trouble, and we’ll find help for the person who tried to touch you.
If this ever happens to you, it’s important to know that it isn’t your fault. It’s never the kid who was hurt’s fault, and if you tell someone, they’ll make sure the person who is doing the abuse gets help. If the first person you tell doesn’t believe you, keep telling adults until someone does, ask a friend to help you talk to the adults.
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