How to Talk About Getting Caught in the Act — Episode 78
In this episode, Amy gives parents a script to talk to kids about when they get caught in the act. You’re having sex and your kid walks in on you! What’s a sex-haver to do?! Here”s a simple script you can use to talk to your kids when they walk in on you.
TRANSCRIPTION:
Welcome to Just Say This, the place to get all the help you need for the birds and bees talks. I’m your host, Amy Lang. Just a quick reminder, this show is for grownups because I’ll be swearing, there’ll be lots of swears. And then I’ll also be talking about grown up sex, I can guarantee that your kids do not want to listen to this, and they really don’t want to listen to it with you. You’ve been warned.
Do you have a question for me? Please give me a call. The phone number’s 206-926-1522 and I will answer on the show. And if you have a funny sex talk story, please call in those as well. 206-926-1522. Thanks.
It’s time for your weekly chirp. What’s a chirp? It’s a script, I’ll be picking one topic every other week and give you a script. So are they going to be perfect? Oh my god, no. And if you don’t like it, or you have a real problem with it, and you feel like you need to let me know, please don’t be a dick about it, they’re not going to be perfect.
So you need to tweak the language to suit your family. The next thing is this is going to get the ball rolling. That’s the goal, I’m going to give you one little thing to talk to your kids about and you can get at it. If your kids are younger, you’re going to dumb the language down make it simpler. If they’re older, you’re going to make it more complicated.
These are actually directed at nine year olds. So enjoy this week’s chirp.
Alrighty, what do you do, if you get caught in the act, you’re finally getting busy, you’re having a little private time. And one of your darling children shows up at exactly the wrong moment. And you get caught in the act. If they walk in on you, no matter where you are, in the circumstances, the person who is best able to untangle themselves talk say words, that’s the person who takes the reins on this.
And what I suggest you say is something along the lines of, Hey, sweetie, we were just having a private moment, can you pop out into the hall, we’ll be there in just a minute, and help you with whatever you need.
Then, hopefully, they will go out in the hall. If they won’t, you can stay still Just a minute, please. We’ll just have to get ourselves situated, then take them out in the hallway. Because it’ll give you some time to kind of gather yourself.
And as you’re talking with them, you can say something along the lines of I’m sorry, you walked in on us, we were having a private moment. We were making love. We were fooling around. We were doing it, we were having sex.
And I’m sure it might have looked a little weird to you. But it’s an important part of our relationship. And it’s a private part of our relationship. And we’ll be more careful in the future.
Later, the same day, you need to have the conversation again, if you haven’t already had it about the knock first rule. And you can say Hey, remember earlier today it was little awkward. Just want to remind you of our family knock first rule.
Remember this means that before you come into a bedroom bathroom and the doors close, you close you knock first and it can’t wait to be invited to come in. You might need to knock a couple of times, you might need to knock loudly. We might be asleep.
We might be doing something else. So please knock first and then wait until we can come to the door and help you out.
If your sex life needs a little spice enough. I’ve got a great book for you. It’s called Come As You Are Revised And Updated The Surprising New Science That Will Transform Your Sex Life by Emily Nagurski. It is an oldie-ish but a goodie. It is terrific.
It will absolutely help you figure out how to make your sex life better. It’s on the Amazon and in the show notes. Check it out.
That’s it for this week. Thanks to everyone who’s been calling in! The number’s 206-926-1522 so please leave me a message if you have a question or a tale from the trenches.
And thank you to Melanie Smith, my producer and to Ralph who wrote the birds and bees and kids theme song.
Show Notes:
- Book: Come As You Are
Resources:
- Birds & Bees Online Solutions Center – Everything you need to be your kids’ first and best sex educator.
- Stop It Now – Sexual Abuse Prevention info and support
- RAINN – National Sexual Assault Hotline. Free. Confidential.
- Birds & Bees & Kids Website
Questions? Funny story? (206)926-1522
Leave a voicemail any time of the day or night and your call may be featured on the show!
