The question about porn is the Teen Boy Question of the Ages – what to do? I happen to think that porn is not a good idea for anyone – in particular teenage boys. The problem is that their brains are still developing and what they can see in terms of sexual activity can be way more than they can handle emotionally. It feels good to see sexually stimulating images, but the kind of images one can access on the internet go beyond merely sexually stimulating.
The internet has been called “the crack cocaine” of pornography because it is so easily consumed and highly addictive. There is some evidence showing that boys and men who view a lot of porn have trouble developing “real” sexual relationships. Because they have seen fake sex, with fake partners, when they get the real thing, it’s disappointing because it doesn’t fulfill their rich (and fake) fantasy life.
So now that I’ve scared you into thinking your son is a porn addict that won’t have lasting relationships except with YouTube, here’s some stuff you can do to help you sort this out.
https://www.protectyoungminds.org has some good information on it.
Read Pornified or
Smut (this one is shorter)
to get a better idea of the impact of porn on our culture and our kids.
Take some time to think about and clarify what you believe about porn. Good? Bad? It’s impact on men, women and relationships? How will you explain this to your kids? What is your experience with porn?
Where is your computer? What are your family rules for internet use? Engage your kids in this conversation.
I hope for a world where kids aren’t looking at porn before they can fully understand what it means, its impact on women and our culture and how it can mess with their heads and hearts. A 17 or 18 year old can nearly fully comprehend this – a 14 year old cannot.
