Is it okay to show 7-Year-Old “Real Life” Pictures of Bodies, Sex And Birth?
Hi Amy!
My seven-year-old boy is VERY interested in sex! I don’t see any signs of anxiety in him, but have to admit that I feel anxious about the fact that my seven-(!)-year-old is so curious about it. It’s hard not to worry about sexualization, will he go through puberty faster than his peers because he’s so interested, and the worry of him going to school and exposing others to new concepts he now knows.
We talked about keeping the information to himself, but I’m worried he will share!
Help!
~ Stephanie, Mama of Sex-Curious Boy
There are lots of safe images out there for your kiddo
Hi Stephanie!
Your boy sounds like he’s one of the many, many kids who is just naturally more interested in sexuality than the average kid. Compare his interest to the kids you know who are deeply into soccer, math or cooking. Same deal, but because his interest is in sexuality, it freaks us out. Hence your totally understandable anxiety.
Your concerns about his sexualizing girls, maturing sooner and sharing his encyclopedic knowledge on the topic of sex are not really worth worrying about. Here’s why:
- You are actively talking to him about sexuality, love and relationships and sharing your values so he has a healthy “base camp” from which operate.
- My guess is that because you are worried about sexualization, you are (and will) talk to him about this which will lessen the likelihood he will both fall prey to this and perpetuate it.
- He’ll mature at the rate he matures and puberty, of course, increases interest in sex – the actual doing of the sex.
- So what if he shares what he knows? If it’s coming from you, is factually correct and based in your values he may be doing his peers a favor. That being said, it is important to remind him that this is private info that he’s welcome to talk to you about. Tell him adults are weird, and think it’s not okay for kids to know this stuff, so it’s not his job to share the news with his pals. It’s their parents’ job.
The real concern here is that he will look online for “real” pictures. You should be sure to install parental controls and monitoring software like Qustodio.
It sounds like he’s ready for the wonderful age-appropriate sex ed book It’s SO Amazing! There are tons of details about bodies, baby-making and boundaries delivered in just the right way.
I’d also get him a copy of Good Pictures Bad Pictures which is all about pornography – what it is, why it’s not safe for kids and what to do if they see it. There’s a version for younger kids and one for older kids, too.
He may love A Child is Born which has “real life” pictures of bodies and birth. The pictures are very scientific and even if graphic, not sexualized.
You can find most of the books here.
As you read the book, check in with him and ask “What more do you want to know?” Don’t be afraid to put him off if you need to think about the answer. Just let him know you need to think about it and get back to him. And then you MUST get back to him within a day or two or he may decide to ask someone else, or worse, Google it. Keep an eye on him for any behavior changes and signs of anxiety from the porn exposure.
You’ve got this!
Amy
