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February 16, 2018 by Amy Lang, The Queen of the Birds & Bees

Self Pleasure & Your Preschooler – What To Do When it Happens

Self-Pleasure-Your-Preschooler

It’s completely normal for little kids to explore their bodies and touch their privates. Self-pleasure (masturbation) is one of the ways children learn about sexuality. And guess what? It feels really, really great! Young kids touch their privates because it feels good. That’s it. It’s relaxing, self-soothing and feels lovely. It is not bad, shameful or wrong.

What To Say If Your Child Is Touching Themselves

If you freak out when you catch them it tells them there is something wrong with them, their body, and you. I’m pretty sure these are three messages you would rather your child not get, ever.

To avoid this, tell the 0 to 6 year-olds “I know it feels good to touch your privates. This is something people do in private, alone. So the rule is, you can do this in your bedroom or the bathroom.”

How To Talk To Older Kids About Masturbation

Tell the 7 to 9 set “It’s totally normal to touch your privates, and the rule is you can do that by yourself, in your bedroom or bathroom.”

Over 10? “You ever heard of masturbation? It’s when you touch your penis or clitoris because it feels good. It’s totally normal to do – just do it in private. It’s normal not to do it ,too.” Then you’ll probably  need to provide some details about what happens to boys, in particular, when they masturbate and how to handle ejaculate.

If you are anti-masturbation, you are on your own. I think this is one of the healthiest and best things a person can do for themselves when it comes to sexuality.

 

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Filed Under: Childhood Sexuality, Parenting Tips

Amy Lang, Sex Education Expert

"I'm on a mission to help every kid grow up to be a whole and healthy adult! I do this by helping parents just like you learn how to have open and effective talks about sexuality, love and relationships. "

-Amy Lang, MA

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