What is normal sexual development in preschoolers? As adults we often sexualize (adultify) preschoolers’ sexual behaviors when there isn’t anything other than boundary issues to worry about. From birth to preschool children’s typical sexual development looks very much like play – and in their minds it IS play!
Ask yourself, “Would an adult engage in this behavior?” This can help you decide if it’s typical or worrisome. Preschoolers’ sexual development and behaviors can be something you need to worry about but often not too much.
Common sexual behaviors from birth to five:
- Sexual language relating to differences in body parts
- Bathroom or potty talk
- Questions about pregnancy and birth
- Self stimulation at home and in public
- Showing and looking at private body parts.
Uncommon behaviors:
- Discussion of specific sexual acts or explicit sexual language
- Adult-like sexual contact with other children
Always kindly redirect children’s sexual behaviors and gently ask each child independently if they have played this way before, how they feel about the “game” and remind them of the body boundary rules. Even thought these sexual behaviors in preschoolers are considered healthy, kids need to learn body boundaries from an early age so they understand consent and get it in their bones.
*Adapted from Wurtele, S.K. and Miller-Perrin, C.L. (1992) Preventing sexual abuse. Lincoln, NE: University of Nebraska Press.
Need more information? Check out my Solution Center or Training for Professionals.
