Worried about your local, friendly, TSA child molester? I hope not! I think this is one of those “Mommy Hysteria” moments – a problem is being created out of nothing.
First of all, from what I read in the Seattle Times this morning, if you do not go through the scanner, you will get a pat down. So, GO THROUGH THE SCANNER. “Problem” solved.
1) Unless there is some legitimate reason not to, like a pace maker, hip replacement, etc., send everyone through the scanner. If you are worried about “radiation” or whatever, two times through the scanner cannot possibly cause any kind of harm. All of those ultrasounds you opted to have during pregnancy probably did more damage, if any, than sending your kid through the scanner.
2) If you and your child elect (or need) to go through the pat down, DO NOT make any big deal out if it in front of your child, AT ALL.
3) Explain to your kiddo what is going to happen and why. Be calm. Say, “They are checking everyone to make sure they aren’t bringing dangerous stuff, like things that could accidentally start a fire, or hurt someone, on the airplane so we all have a safe trip.”
3a) YOU GO FIRST. And keep your shit together, no matter what goes down. Sexual abuse history? Request a woman pat you down.
4) You will be right there, and the TSA guy NEEDS HIS JOB. If he happens to be a pedophile, chances are very, very high that he will not risk his employment to touch your child inappropriately.
5) You will be right there. Your child is safe.
6) You will be right there. Only a truly insane person would mess with a persons kid with the parent right there. Seriously.
7) If, by some random chance the TSA guy touches your kid’s privates in some way, the chance that your child will become traumatized by it, actually depends on what you do if you even know. You freak out = they freak out. It might seem weird or uncomfortable to them, but not traumatic, unless it’s painful or you freak out (or have been a BIG LOUD CRAZY MOMMY about privates touching) they will most likely brush it off.
8) I suspect they will have women pat down children anyway. Request one if you feel more comfortable.
9) Are you reeling from the possibility of # 7? Stop it. It’s not going to happen.
10) And finally, with all of the horrid stuff that happens to kids every day – and not to mention all the terrible stuff that’s going on in our world – it would probably be a good idea to find some things to worry about that are legitimate, like your kids’ horrid sleep schedule, their all white diet, sexy-acting 8 year olds, why you let your daughter sit on “Uncle Creepy’s” lap, our train wreck of an educational system, and what made you think that being a mommy would be any fun in the first place!
