Trying to figure out when to start the sex talks with autisitc, ADHD, or neurodivergent kids can be confusing!
A lot of parents of neurodivergent kids think they just aren’t ready to learn about sex, and there are a bunch of reasons why,
Like their kid is…
- Too socially and emotionally immature, so the information is too much for them
- Trapped in childhood and don’t or won’t need this information for a long time, if ever.
- Not interested in sexual or romantic relationships
- Not able to be a good partner because they get social rules wrong, which can lead to bad consequences
- Can’t really understand sexual consent or handle sensory experiences
- Can’t make their own choices about sex, relationships, etc.
You need to start the sex talks a lot sooner than you think.
They live in a world where they will get a lot of information about sex, relationships, consent, gender, sexual orientation, and porn, no matter how hard you try to protect them. Even if they never “need” the information, they still need to know about everything.
The best time to talk to an autistic, ADHD, or neurodivergent child about sex? As soon as possible. I recommend you start by age five. It seems young, but the more information they have, the sooner they have it from you, the safer and smarter they will be.
If your child is in or near puberty, as you talk with them about the changes in their body and why they are happening, you can use it to start the conversation about sex.
The good news! Sex is basically science!
The basics of sex education, like names for private parts and how babies are made, are science! Yes, there are layers and layers of complication, but at its core, it’s biology. Using this scientific lens can make the communication much easier on everyone.
Finally, don’t worry about starting too soon or being too late; all that matters is that you start the education as soon as possible.
If you want to get started ASAP, check out Start Here: Raising Safe, Healthy Neurodivergent Kids. It’ll help you get the birds-and-bees talks rolling.
