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May 11, 2020 by Amy Lang, The Queen of the Birds & Bees

When The Kids Walk In On You!

when the kids walk in on you

What To Do When Your Kids Walk In On You Having Sex

First of all, CONGRATULATIONS! How fabulous that you managed to make time for some loving.

Secondly, BUMMER! Nothing spoils the mood like the pitter-patter of tiny feet, gasps, and commentary along the line of “What the heck are you two doing?!”

Here’s how to handle it.

Prevention! Right now, today, institute a “knock first” policy. This means if a door is closed the family rule is you “knock first” and get permission to enter.

Get a lock put on your door.

Script! Already know what you’re going to say before you say it! Whoever is most able to speak at the time can say, calmly, “Hi! We’re having a private moment – can you please wait outside the door for a minute, one of us will be right out.”

Afterwards! Now for the damage control (if there is any to be done).

3 – 7 years old:
“Hey, I’m so sorry you walked in on us when we were having some private time. It probably looked a little weird and maybe a little scary, but we we’re just fine. In the future, you really need to knock before you come into our room. Thanks!”

8 years old and up:
“Hey – I’m so sorry you walked in on us while we were making love and having some private time. If you felt uncomfortable, that’s totally normal. We did too, because making love is private and we were surprised to see you. Sex can look and sound a little weird so I’m sorry if you were upset or scared.”

“In the future, please knock first before you come into our room. We’ll do the same for you.”

“Do you have any questions?”

Good luck with the last one – be honest and answer as simply as possible. They really don’t need to know the details of why daddy likes to be tied up or why you have that cool silver rocket ship. 🙂

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Filed Under: How To Talk To Kids About Sex, Parenting Tips Tagged With: Boundaries, Scripts

Amy Lang, Sex Education Expert

"I'm on a mission to help every kid grow up to be a whole and healthy adult! I do this by helping parents just like you learn how to have open and effective talks about sexuality, love and relationships. "

-Amy Lang, MA

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